Things About Me: Storytelling, Curiosity, and Creativity (Series)
Learning From The past
During the past years, I learned many things about me. Many have always been here. Hidden stories waiting to be discovered. The product of reality, maturity and life experiences. Have you ever walk around life with the undoubted certainty that you know who you are? But then one day, life makes you see yourself in a different mirror, and for the first time comes the discovery of what was hidden about yourself. I have lived in the skin of a pantomime that acted, smiled and moved like me, and the realization that I was discovering and honest version of me behind so many old masks. After such discovery, I started paying attention to my body and found inches of skin unrecognizable before. I became a fan of my body: my neck, the shape of my mouth and waves on my messy curly hair. Location on each birthmark on my body, shapes, colors, even fingernails, brown color of my eyes, my tiny feet in comparison to my tall height, glow on the skin of my shoulders, blue veins, and body symmetric. I was getting to know and accepting myself as I am. Not as other people perceived me. And neither as my expectations, which sometimes are different from reality, but as I am and I loved my recognition. Before this discovery, I used to see my body as clothing sizes in need of going up or down, the amount of weight required to drop, muscles to shaped and body to tone.
I saw my body according to how well the dresses in my closet fit in or not, and how tight the jeans were. I saw my body as a small or a medium size as a success, and a large number on the scale as a major failure. But at one beautiful moment, I found invisible written words on my skin from each person that I have loved. Some of these words from the past at one point gave me a scar and hurt me. Now, triumphantly disappearing with the daily renewal of my skin, self-love, maturity, and experiences. But, what I am most at peace now, is that If I see myself as a whole, I’ll be able to find beautiful words on each inch of my body from the many people who also love me unconditionally. But most importantly, from ME. I confess, at one point I was surprised to discover that most of these beautiful words came from my resilience. At some period in life, I gifted myself beautiful brave words and mantras, knowing that I was going to need them in the future.
Similar to someone in the middle of the sea, lost in a shipwreck, sending SOS messages to a soul who would respond years later into the future. SOS messages of self-love, resilience, and validation. Words that transformed my endurance and made me brave in several situations. These incredibly beautiful words are too many now. Becoming bigger each day and turning itself into the brightest light in any room. The thing about me now is that I accept that my body is breathing intuition, vibration, and energy. No longer logic. No fixable-addictive thinking. Materialistic living and possessions do not satisfy my soul. I crave intensity, creativity, passion and spiritual connections. I was homesick my whole life, thinking that I was missing something or someone who I couldn’t find. When I became honest with my self, I discovered magically that I was no longer homesick. I found out that my missing home was in ME.