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Developing resilience, overcoming obstacles and growing from setbacks is fundamental to happiness. Resilience is our capacity of becoming adaptable to changes. Improve life when plan A goes down the hill. It is crucial in life to use resistance to the next challenge or pace to be overcome in life.

Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks

Learning to look at obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow. Resilience is also the commitment to being able to meet our goals and carry out happiness. The emotional stimulation of getting out of bed each day to reach our dreams. This commitment could be what keeps us providing second chances to our relationships and friendships. People who are resilient don’t spend their energy focusing on situations they cannot control.

The key is to put the efforts where there would make the most impact. Excessive worrying about things we cannot control could leave us feeling helpless and lost. Resilience is optimism. Optimistic people see bad events as something temporary. Staying resilient help us develop a sense of compassion and empathetic. A resilient mindset looks for changes on how to overcome stress and deal with success.

 

My Personal History Developing Resilience:

During the past years, I learned many things about me. Many have always been here. Hidden stories were waiting to be discovered. The product of reality, maturity and life experiences. Have you ever walk around life with the undoubted certainty that you know who you are? But, then one day, life makes you see yourself in a different mirror, and for the first time comes the real discovery that was kept hidden from yourself. I have lived in the skin of a pantomime that acted, smiled and moved like me, and the moment discovering my real face behind so many masks.

After such discovery, I started paying attention to my body and found inches of skin unrecognizable before. I became a fan of my body: my neck, the shape of my mouth and waves on my messy curly hair. Location on each birthmark on my body, shapes, colors, even fingernails, brown color of my eyes, my tiny feet in comparison to my tall height, glow on the skin of my shoulders, blue veins, and body symmetric. I was getting to know and accepting myself as I am. Not as other people perceived me. And neither as my expectations, which sometimes are different from reality, but as I am and I loved my recognition.

Before this discovery, I used to see my body as clothing sizes in need of going up or down, the amount of weight required to drop, muscles to shaped and body to tone. I saw my body according to how well the dresses in my closet fit in or not, and how tight the jeans were. I saw my body as a small or a medium size as a success and a large number on the scale as a major failure.

But at one beautiful moment, I found invisibly written words on my skin for each person that I had loved. Some of these words from the past, at one point, gave me a scar and hurt me. Now, triumphantly disappearing with the daily renewal of my skin, self-love, maturity, and experiences. But, what I am most at peace now, is that If I see myself as a whole, I’ll be able to find beautiful words on each inch of my body from the many people who love me unconditionally. But most importantly, from me.

I confess, at one point, I was surprised to discover that most of these beautiful words came from my resilience.  At some period in life, I gifted myself beautiful, brave words and mantras knowing that I was going to need them in the future. As someone in the middle of the sea, lost in a shipwreck, sending SOS messages to a soul who would respond years later into the future. SOS messages of self-love, resilience, and validation. Words which transformed my endurance and made me brave in several situations.

These incredibly beautiful words are too many now. Becoming bigger each day and turning itself into the brightest light in any room. I accept now that my body is breathing intuition, vibration, and energy. No longer logic. No fixable-addictive thinking. Materialistic living and possessions do not satisfy my soul. I crave intensity, creativity, passion and spiritual connections. I was homesick my whole life, thinking that I was missing something or someone who I couldn’t find or find. When I became honest with my self, I discovered magically that I wasn’t homesick. I found out that my missing home was in ME.

The original article was published and differently edited by SheKnows.com

How To Cultivate Resilience And Grow From Setbacks:

  • Envision a brighter future ahead and keep a positive mentality.
  • Make sure to stay surrounded by healthy relationships, which will support and motivate your decisions instead of constant criticism.
  • Say no to the victim mentality. Focus your energy on improving what you cannot control.
  • Exercises, sleep and keeping stress under control. A healthy body and mind will respond more efficiently to the many obstacles.
  • Stay away from negative thoughts. Use positive daily affirmation and watch how you talk to yourself.
  • Learn from mistakes, problems, and lessons. There is strength in the capacity to overcome and move past the difficulties.
  • Work daily on self-love and confidence. When you develop confidence, you will move forward due to your inner strength.
  • Stay flexible with changes.
    The reality is that sometimes we are going to fail from time to time. Living means making mistakes and the need to grow from setbacks. We should not stop seeking our dreams; even at the risk of failing.  Resilient means staying strong, through the lessons so we can move to do better and bigger goals. The power to overcome setbacks will come from resilience.

Incredible, but true. Time heals old wounds. I remember years ago when I took this photo. It now feels like a thousand ages ago. I remember my internal chaos and how my emotions were devouring me with unspoken words. This trip was the beginning of a painful healing. Now, I want to go back to this same spot. Sit on that boat. Get my feet wet. Laugh. And say “Thank you,” while I wink at the sky. Dear friend, if you are hurting before going to bed “rest but don’t stop.” It gets better, I promise. Much better than your old plans. But you need to keep investing in you only. Go for less to have more. It will soon pass.

All that my heart is seeking now is peace. The peace that comes while holding the right hands, building relationships with compassionate humans and become surrounded by beauty and art. All that my brain is needing now is to create something new. An idea. A project. A dream. My thoughts into a tangible object. All that my skin is searching is his touch. His agreement that we could fly higher together without control and chains. His acceptance to love me when I’m his hurricane and storm, but also when I’m afraid of my vulnerability and fears. All that my soul is wanting is a good vibration. That silent “feeling” that makes you sense and confirm things that you can’t touch or give a name.
The old souls call it “wisdom.” The realists call it the voice of “experience.” The scientists call it “energy” from the body. The sensible (like you and I) we call it “intuition.” All that my curiosity is opening are new doors. My dream career. A new office. A city that doesn’t sleep. My words on paper. A camera to capture the magic. Ambitions liberated without apologies. All that my comfort zone wants is a new place. Analyzing LESS the things that could go wrong. Concentrating MORE on the safe road that I could build myself.

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With Love, Wen

Author

Hi! I'm Wendy Reyes. Welcome to WithLoveWen! A lifestyle blog through visuals and storytelling. Based on events and places around New York City. I hope you find inspiration with each visit and that you come back for more. I share my interests via books, lifestyle, blogging 101, wellness, natural beauty and much more. My passions also include photography, writing, and budget travel. IG: @WendyReyesv

20 Comments

  1. I totally agree with you. Overcoming obstacles is essential for happiness. I remember telling a guy that my happiness was a priority and he stopped talking to me. I was confused. That just made me realise that my happiness is indeed essential to my well-being. Without self love, one can’t be truly happy.

  2. Yes! Positive thoughts and affirmations are an amazing way to change your life and be ore positive. I also support rejecting toxic people from your life to be free. We will all face setbacks but can come out stronger.

  3. I believe that happiness is a most important thing in this world. If you’re not happy, then everything is vain. If you’re happy, then only you can make your loved ones happy!

    • Absolutely. Happiness is an inside job. No money or achievement will be able to give us happiness until we introspect and dig into what is true happiness for each of us.

  4. Great words of wisdom…say “No” to victim mentality. If you don’t you are giving the other person or situation way to much power over you!

    • The “victim” mentality has become a generalized epidemic in today’s society. Embracing and accepting personal changes is the only way for real improvement.

  5. Thank you for these reminders. To know that I have the ability to create the life I want with the thoughts I feed my mind is an incredible gift. I love that you pointed out more than a few ways to create a resilient character – it is absolutely necessary in the world we live in today. Thank you for sharing all this positivity! Definitely needed to read this right now.

  6. Great post to read about resilience. Tough times don’t really last, but tough people do. Stay strong girl! 😀

  7. Self love is most important. What a beautiful discovery of yourself and great thoughts on resiliency. I believe we all need this character trait to function positively in the world we live.
    -Natasha | http://www.lovelyyoublog.com

  8. Resiliency is so important as we go through life. There will be several situations that we’ll go through and need to overcome. It’s important to have the right tools to overcome them and be able to bounce back even strong than ever. Very insightful tips, thank you!

    • As the saying goes “Life gets harder and harder,” so we need to improve ourselves and invest in us daily to overcome obstacles.

  9. We all have things we’ve suffered and struggled through. What a great post on resilience!

  10. I love these tips
    I am trying to deal with the victim mentality and finding my energy in positive thinking
    Thanks for this post

    Ngumabi
    N’Graffi

  11. This post really resonated with me, especially the part about the words on your skin fading. Surviving an abusive relationship, his hurtful words still sting in my moments of insecurity

  12. Great tips. Positive thinking is vital while overcoming the victim mentality. Thanks for sharing!

  13. You have no idea how perfect this was for me today! Thank you for sharing!

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