Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
Learning to look at obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow. Resilience is also a commitment to meet our goals and carry out our happiness. The emotional stimulation of getting out of bed each day to reach our dreams. This commitment is what keeps us providing second chances in relationships and friendships. And makes us avoid spending energy focusing on situations we cannot control. Excessive worrying about things we can’t control could leave us feeling helpless and lost. Resilience is optimism. And optimism sees bad events as something temporary. Staying resilient help us develop a sense of compassion and looks for changes on how to overcome stress.
My Personal History Developing Resilience:
During these past years, I did the hard work of going inward and I learned so much about myself. I learned about patterns and emotions that have always been with me. And during this internal search, hidden stories were waiting to be discovered. These stories were the product of reality, maturity and life experiences. Have you ever walk around life with the undoubted certainty that you know who you are? But then one day life makes you see yourself in a different mirror and for the first time comes the discovery of what was hidden about yourself. I have lived in the skin of a pantomime that acted, smiled and moved like me and the realization that I was discovering and an honest version of me behind so many old masks.
After such discovery, I started paying attention to my body and found inches of skin unrecognizable before. I became a fan of my body: my neck, the shape of my mouth and waves on my messy curly hair. Location of a birthmark in my body like the one on my left thigh, shapes, colors, even fingernails, brown color of my eyes, my tiny feet in comparison to my tall height, glow on the skin of my shoulders, blue veins, and body symmetric. I was getting to know and accept myself as I am. Not as other people perceived me. And neither as my expectations which sometimes are different from reality. But as I am. And I loved my recognition. Before this discovery, I used to see my body as clothing sizes in need of going up or down, the amount of weight required to be dropped, muscles to shape and tone. I saw my body according to how well the dresses in my closet fit in or not and how tight the jeans were. I saw my body as a small or a medium size as a success and a large number on the scale as a major failure.
But at one moment, I found invisible written words on my skin from each person that I have ever loved. Some of these words from the past at one point gave me a scar and hurt me. Now, triumphantly those words disappeared with the daily renewal of my skin, self-love, maturity, and experiences. But, what I am most at peace, is that now If I see myself as a whole. Now, I’m able to find beautiful words on each inch of my body from the many people who also loved me unconditionally. But more importantly from ME. I confess that at one point, I was surprised to discover that most of these beautiful words came from my own resilience. In the past, at some period in life, I gifted myself beautiful brave words and mantras; knowing that I was going to need them in the future. Similar to someone in the middle of the sea, lost in a shipwreck and sending SOS messages to a soul who would respond years later into the future. SOS messages of self-love, resilience, and validation. Resilient words which transformed my endurance and made me brave in several situations.
These incredibly beautiful words are too many now. Becoming bigger each day and turning itself into the brightest light in any room. I accept now that my body is breathing intuition, good vibration, and positive energy. No longer logic. No addictive overthinking. Materialistic living and possessions do not satisfy my soul. I crave intensity, creativity, passion, mutual admirations, and spiritual connections. I was homesick my whole life, thinking that I was missing something or someone whom I could never find. After I did the hard job of going inward and became honest with my self; I discovered magically that I was no longer homesick because my missing home was in ME all along.
*This is the original article. This article was published and edited differently by SheKnows.com
How To Cultivate Resilience And Grow From Setbacks:
- Envision a brighter future ahead and keep a positive mentality.
- Make sure to stay surrounded by healthy relationships, which will support and motivate your decisions instead of constant criticism.
- Exercises, sleep and keep stress under control. A healthy body and mind will respond efficiently to many obstacles.
- Stay away from negative thoughts. Use positive daily affirmation and watch how you talk to yourself.
- Learn from mistakes, problems, and lessons. There is strength in the capacity to overcome and move past the difficulties.
- Work daily on self-love and confidence. When you develop confidence you will move forward due to your inner strength.
- Stay flexible with changes.
The reality is that sometimes we are going to fail from time to time. Living means making mistakes and the need to grow from setbacks. We should not stop seeking our dreams; even at the risk of failing. Resilient means staying strong through the lessons so we can move on in life.
Incredible, but true. Time heals old wounds. I remember years ago when I took these photos. It now feels like a thousand ages ago. I remember my internal chaos and how my emotions were devouring me with unspoken words. This trip was the beginning of a painful healing process. Now, I laugh and say “Thank you” while I wink at the sky. Dear friend, if you are hurting tonight “rest but don’t stop.” It gets better, I promise. Much much much better than your old plans. But you need to keep investing in you. Go for less to have more. It will soon pass.
All that my heart is seeking now is peace. The peace that comes while holding the right hands, building relationships with compassionate humans and become surrounded by beauty and art. All that my brain is needing now is to create something new. An idea. A project. A dream. All that my skin is searching is his touch. His agreement that we could fly higher together without control and chains. His acceptance to love me when I’m his hurricane and storm, but also when I’m afraid of my vulnerability and fears. All that my soul wants is a good vibration. That silent “feeling” that makes us sense and confirm things we can’t touch or give a name but that we feel so deeply.