Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks

When we are learning to look at obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow, resilience becomes a commitment to match our goals and to carry out our happiness. The emotional and physical stimulation to get out of bed each day to reach our dreams. A commitment that keeps us providing second chances in relationships, friendships and makes us avoid spending our energy focusing on situations that we can’t control. We all know, excessive worrying could leave us feeling helpless and lost. Resilience is optimism. And optimism sees adversity as something temporary. Staying resilient helps us develop a sense of compassion and motivate us towards the changes needed to overcome stress.

My Personal History Developing Resilience

During these past years, I worked on a better self emotionally, mentally, and physically. I learned so much about me. I learned about old patterns and emotions that I didn’t know I carried within me. During this internal journey, many hidden stories were waiting for me to be discovered. These stories were the product of past experiences and reality. Have you ever walked around life with the undoubted certainty that you know who you are? But then one day, life place you in a situation where you need to look at yourself in a different mirror, and for the first time comes the revelation of what was hidden. Throughout the years, I have lived and breathed in the skin of a pantomime that acted, smiled, and moved like me. And the new realization of discovering an honest version of me behind so many old patterns and masks.

After such discovery, I first started paying attention to my body and found inches on my skin unrecognizable before. I became the number one fan of my body again: my neck, the shape of my mouth, and waves on my messy curly hair — the location of a birthmark, like the one on my left thigh. Also, shapes, colors, fingernails, brown color of my eyes, my small feet in comparison to my 5’9″ height, glow on my skin, visible blue veins, and body symmetric. I was getting to know and accept myself as I am. Not as other people perceived me. And neither as my old expectations, which sometimes were different from reality. But as I am today. And I love my recognition.

he amount of weight required to be dropped, muscles to shape, and tone. I saw my body according to how well the dresses in my closet fit in or not and how tight the jeans were. I saw my body as a small size success and a more significant

But at one moment, I found invisible written words on my skin from those humans who truly healthily loved me. But also, I found words from those who used me and used my presence and sensitivity in the past and, at one point, gave me an emotional scar and hurt me. Now triumphantly, those scars have disappeared with the daily renewal of my self-love, maturity, and new experiences. But what I’m most at harmony is that I see myself as a whole, not just in sections of me. I’m able to find beautiful words on every inch of my body from the many people who now love me unconditionally. But more importantly, from ME. And no, I don’t have visible tattoos. I’m talking about spiritual words. I’m confessing my surprise to discover that most of these beautiful words came from MY OWN resilience and strength. In the past, at some point in my life, I GIFTED MYSELF beautiful, brave words and mantras. It seems that I knew intuitively that these words might be needed in the future. Similar to someone in the middle of the sea lost in a shipwreck and sending SOS messages to a soul who would respond years later into the future. SOS messages of self-love, resilience, and validation. Resilient words which helped me transform my endurance and made me brave in several situations.

These incredibly beautiful words are too many now and becoming more significant each day. I accept now that my body is breathing intuition, good vibration, and positive energy. I no longer want to be right or invest in addictive overthinking. Materialistic living and ridiculous possessions do not satisfy my soul. I crave intensity, creativity, passion, and spiritual connection. I was homesick my whole life, thinking that I was missing something or someone whom I could never find anywhere. I became my best friend and ended up growing honest with myself, and I discovered magically that I was no longer homesick because my missing home was in ME all this time.

*This is the original article. This article was published and edited differently by

Resilience At Work

Dealing with change or loss is inevitable in life. Several years ago, I got sick out of the blue and found myself at a crossroads between my health and the job that was making me sick. I chose my health, but the decision wasn’t easy. I started working at the age of sixteen, worked throughout college, and developed a sense of pride and overcommitment surrounding my years of work and experience. It was all good until it got me sick.

Choosing my health was the right decision because nothing else in life matters the most when our health is missing. It was a hard episode in my life personally and career-wise. But it was also during that time that I reinvented myself and decided on a career change. I started freelancing online during that time doing paid content, and then later, took basic coding classes like HTML and CSS. Coding and freelancing opportunities opened my eyes to Web Development. I decided to become serious with the new opportunity and became a Web Designer, later a Developer, and in the upcoming future a Software Engineer. A career change in the tech world was the best decision because I love it, and I’m much happier with this industry.

And it all started with me getting badly sick. I remember when I found myself at a hospital bed, and I thought that I reached the bottom of the bottom. Little did I know that my strength was being tested, and it was the perfect challenge to create the right beginning. I had two options: Be afraid (which I was) or face learning new things. I did it. I learned every new challenge that came my way. I did it afraid, but I did it

How To Cultivate Resilience And Grow From Setbacks:

  • Envision a brighter future ahead and keep a positive mentality.
  • Make sure to stay surrounded by healthy relationships that support and motivate your decisions instead of constant criticism.
  • Exercise, sleep, and keep stress under control.
  • A healthy body and mind will find better ways to respond to new obstacles.
  • Stay away from negative thoughts. Use positive affirmation and watch how you talk to yourself.
  • Learn from mistakes, problems, and lessons. There is strength in the capacity to move past the difficulties.
  • Stay flexible with changes.
  • The reality is that sometimes we are going to fail from time to time. Living means making mistakes.
  • Never stop seeking your dreams even at the risk of failing.
  • Resilience means staying strong through the lessons to grow and move on in life.
  • And the final and most important lesson is for you to examine the type of people that you have in your life. Do they support you and lift you? Or do they bring you down and live under constant criticism? If they bring you down, then it is time for you to close those doors. Throughout the years, I learned that saying NO and keeping positive people near is the best self-love gift from me to me.

Time and Resilience

Time heals old wounds. I remember when I wrote this post. It now feels like a thousand ages ago. I remember my internal chaos and how my emotions were devouring me with unspoken words. This was the beginning of a painful internal healing process. Now, I could smile at my own words and say, “Thank you” while I wink at the sky. Dear friend, if you are hurting tonight, “rest, but never stop.” It gets much better, I promise. Much much much better than your old plans. One hundred times better. Okay, maybe ten times better. But you need to keep investing in yourself. Go for minimalism to have more, and it will soon pass.


All that my heart is seeking now is peace. The peace that comes while holding the right hands, building new relationships with compassionate humans and becoming surrounded by beauty and art. All that my brain is needing now is to create something new. An idea. A project. A dream. All that my skin is searching for is his touch. His agreement that we could fly higher together without control and chains. His acceptance to love me when I’m his hurricane and storm, but also when I’m afraid of my vulnerability and fears. All that my soul wants is a good vibration. That silent “feeling” that makes us sense and confirm things we can’t touch or give a name but that we profoundly feel.
The old Me.

MY RELATED POST: Storytelling, Curiosity, and Creativity


With Love, Wen

*This post has affiliate links. reyes

Wendy Reyes Vélez

Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
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Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
We all know that excessive worrying could leave us feeling helpless and lost. Resilience is optimism, and optimism sees adversity as something temporary. Staying resilient helps us develop a sense of compassion and motivates us towards those changes we need to overcome stress. -
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  1. You have no idea how perfect this was for me today! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Great tips. Positive thinking is vital while overcoming the victim mentality. Thanks for sharing!

  3. This post really resonated with me, especially the part about the words on your skin fading. Surviving an abusive relationship, his hurtful words still sting in my moments of insecurity

  4. I love these tips
    I am trying to deal with the victim mentality and finding my energy in positive thinking
    Thanks for this post


  5. We all have things we’ve suffered and struggled through. What a great post on resilience!

  6. Resiliency is so important as we go through life. There will be several situations that we’ll go through and need to overcome. It’s important to have the right tools to overcome them and be able to bounce back even strong than ever. Very insightful tips, thank you!

    • As the saying goes “Life gets harder and harder,” so we need to improve ourselves and invest in us daily to overcome obstacles.

  7. Self love is most important. What a beautiful discovery of yourself and great thoughts on resiliency. I believe we all need this character trait to function positively in the world we live.
    -Natasha |

  8. Great post to read about resilience. Tough times don’t really last, but tough people do. Stay strong girl! 😀

  9. Thank you for these reminders. To know that I have the ability to create the life I want with the thoughts I feed my mind is an incredible gift. I love that you pointed out more than a few ways to create a resilient character – it is absolutely necessary in the world we live in today. Thank you for sharing all this positivity! Definitely needed to read this right now.

  10. Great words of wisdom…say “No” to victim mentality. If you don’t you are giving the other person or situation way to much power over you!

    • The “victim” mentality has become a generalized epidemic in today’s society. Embracing and accepting personal changes is the only way for real improvement.

  11. I believe that happiness is a most important thing in this world. If you’re not happy, then everything is vain. If you’re happy, then only you can make your loved ones happy!

    • Absolutely. Happiness is an inside job. No money or achievement will be able to give us happiness until we introspect and dig into what is true happiness for each of us.

  12. Yes! Positive thoughts and affirmations are an amazing way to change your life and be ore positive. I also support rejecting toxic people from your life to be free. We will all face setbacks but can come out stronger.

  13. I totally agree with you. Overcoming obstacles is essential for happiness. I remember telling a guy that my happiness was a priority and he stopped talking to me. I was confused. That just made me realise that my happiness is indeed essential to my well-being. Without self love, one can’t be truly happy.

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