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Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks

Learning to look at obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow. Resilience is also a commitment to meet our goals and carry out our happiness. The emotional stimulation of getting out of bed each day to reach our dreams. This commitment is what keeps us providing second chances in relationships and friendships. And makes us avoid spending energy focusing on situations we cannot control. Excessive worrying about things we can’t control could leave us feeling helpless and lost. Resilience is optimism. And optimism sees bad events as something temporary. Staying resilient help us develop a sense of compassion and looks for changes on how to overcome stress.

My Personal History Developing Resilience:

During these past years, I did the hard work of going inward and I learned so much about myself. I learned about patterns and emotions that have always been with me. And during this internal search, hidden stories were waiting to be discovered. These stories were the product of reality, maturity and life experiences. Have you ever walk around life with the undoubted certainty that you know who you are? But then one day life makes you see yourself in a different mirror and for the first time comes the discovery of what was hidden about yourself. I have lived in the skin of a pantomime that acted, smiled and moved like me and the realization that I was discovering and an honest version of me behind so many old masks.

After such discovery, I started paying attention to my body and found inches of skin unrecognizable before. I became a fan of my body: my neck, the shape of my mouth and waves on my messy curly hair. Location of a birthmark in my body like the one on my left thigh, shapes, colors, even fingernails, brown color of my eyes, my tiny feet in comparison to my tall height, glow on the skin of my shoulders, blue veins, and body symmetric. I was getting to know and accept myself as I am. Not as other people perceived me. And neither as my expectations which sometimes are different from reality. But as I am. And I loved my recognition. Before this discovery, I used to see my body as clothing sizes in need of going up or down, the amount of weight required to be dropped, muscles to shape and tone. I saw my body according to how well the dresses in my closet fit in or not and how tight the jeans were. I saw my body as a small or a medium size as a success and a large number on the scale as a major failure.

But at one moment, I found invisible written words on my skin from each person that I have ever loved. Some of these words from the past at one point gave me a scar and hurt me. Now, triumphantly those words disappeared with the daily renewal of my skin, self-love, maturity, and experiences. But, what I am most at peace, is that now If I see myself as a whole. Now, I’m able to find beautiful words on each inch of my body from the many people who also loved me unconditionally. But more importantly from ME. I confess that at one point, I was surprised to discover that most of these beautiful words came from my own resilience.  In the past, at some period in life, I gifted myself beautiful brave words and mantras; knowing that I was going to need them in the future. Similar to someone in the middle of the sea, lost in a shipwreck and sending SOS messages to a soul who would respond years later into the future. SOS messages of self-love, resilience, and validation. Resilient words which transformed my endurance and made me brave in several situations.

These incredibly beautiful words are too many now. Becoming bigger each day and turning itself into the brightest light in any room. I accept now that my body is breathing intuition, good vibration, and positive energy. No longer logic. No addictive overthinking. Materialistic living and possessions do not satisfy my soul. I crave intensity, creativity, passion, mutual admirations, and spiritual connections. I was homesick my whole life, thinking that I was missing something or someone whom I could never find. After I did the hard job of going inward and became honest with my self; I discovered magically that I was no longer homesick because my missing home was in ME all along.

*This is the original article. This article was published and edited differently by SheKnows.com

How To Cultivate Resilience And Grow From Setbacks:

  • Envision a brighter future ahead and keep a positive mentality.
  • Make sure to stay surrounded by healthy relationships, which will support and motivate your decisions instead of constant criticism.
  • Exercises, sleep and keep stress under control. A healthy body and mind will respond efficiently to many obstacles.
  • Stay away from negative thoughts. Use positive daily affirmation and watch how you talk to yourself.
  • Learn from mistakes, problems, and lessons. There is strength in the capacity to overcome and move past the difficulties.
  • Work daily on self-love and confidence. When you develop confidence you will move forward due to your inner strength.
  • Stay flexible with changes.
    The reality is that sometimes we are going to fail from time to time. Living means making mistakes and the need to grow from setbacks. We should not stop seeking our dreams; even at the risk of failing. Resilient means staying strong through the lessons so we can move on in life. 

Incredible, but true. Time heals old wounds. I remember years ago when I took these photos. It now feels like a thousand ages ago. I remember my internal chaos and how my emotions were devouring me with unspoken words. This trip was the beginning of a painful healing process. Now, I laugh and say “Thank you” while I wink at the sky. Dear friend, if you are hurting tonight “rest but don’t stop.” It gets better, I promise. Much much much better than your old plans. But you need to keep investing in you. Go for less to have more. It will soon pass.

All that my heart is seeking now is peace. The peace that comes while holding the right hands, building relationships with compassionate humans and become surrounded by beauty and art. All that my brain is needing now is to create something new. An idea. A project. A dream. All that my skin is searching is his touch. His agreement that we could fly higher together without control and chains. His acceptance to love me when I’m his hurricane and storm, but also when I’m afraid of my vulnerability and fears. All that my soul wants is a good vibration. That silent “feeling” that makes us sense and confirm things we can’t touch or give a name but that we feel so deeply.

MY RELATED POST: Storytelling, Curiosity, and Creativity

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With Love, Wen

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Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
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Developing Resilience Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
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These beautiful words came from my resilience.  At some period in life, I gifted myself beautiful, brave words and mantras knowing that I was going to need them in the future. | WithLoveWen.com
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Wendy Reyes is a Digital Marketer and creator of WithLoveWen.com. A lifestyle and storytelling website based in the New York City area.

20 Comments

  1. You have no idea how perfect this was for me today! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Great tips. Positive thinking is vital while overcoming the victim mentality. Thanks for sharing!

  3. This post really resonated with me, especially the part about the words on your skin fading. Surviving an abusive relationship, his hurtful words still sting in my moments of insecurity

  4. I love these tips
    I am trying to deal with the victim mentality and finding my energy in positive thinking
    Thanks for this post

    Ngumabi
    N’Graffi

  5. We all have things we’ve suffered and struggled through. What a great post on resilience!

  6. Resiliency is so important as we go through life. There will be several situations that we’ll go through and need to overcome. It’s important to have the right tools to overcome them and be able to bounce back even strong than ever. Very insightful tips, thank you!

    • As the saying goes “Life gets harder and harder,” so we need to improve ourselves and invest in us daily to overcome obstacles.

  7. Self love is most important. What a beautiful discovery of yourself and great thoughts on resiliency. I believe we all need this character trait to function positively in the world we live.
    -Natasha | http://www.lovelyyoublog.com

  8. Great post to read about resilience. Tough times don’t really last, but tough people do. Stay strong girl! 😀

  9. Thank you for these reminders. To know that I have the ability to create the life I want with the thoughts I feed my mind is an incredible gift. I love that you pointed out more than a few ways to create a resilient character – it is absolutely necessary in the world we live in today. Thank you for sharing all this positivity! Definitely needed to read this right now.

  10. Great words of wisdom…say “No” to victim mentality. If you don’t you are giving the other person or situation way to much power over you!

    • The “victim” mentality has become a generalized epidemic in today’s society. Embracing and accepting personal changes is the only way for real improvement.

  11. I believe that happiness is a most important thing in this world. If you’re not happy, then everything is vain. If you’re happy, then only you can make your loved ones happy!

    • Absolutely. Happiness is an inside job. No money or achievement will be able to give us happiness until we introspect and dig into what is true happiness for each of us.

  12. Yes! Positive thoughts and affirmations are an amazing way to change your life and be ore positive. I also support rejecting toxic people from your life to be free. We will all face setbacks but can come out stronger.

  13. I totally agree with you. Overcoming obstacles is essential for happiness. I remember telling a guy that my happiness was a priority and he stopped talking to me. I was confused. That just made me realise that my happiness is indeed essential to my well-being. Without self love, one can’t be truly happy.

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